"only one thing is really predictable
... and that is change"
the first time that I surfed the 'net was a pretty intense, almost mystical, experience for me. i felt as if a thousand new connections were being made in my brain, as if networks of neurons were firing off in a frenzy to make pathways and possibilities that just hadn't been there before.
i saw very clearly that the 'net was an awesome communication medium that would far outstrip any media currently prevalent in the world today .. and equally clearly that it would be used both to great effect and thoroughly abused.
i saw that the places that compelled one to visit were sites of people who were passionate about what they were conveying .. and that for the first time we had a medium at our disposal in which any voice could be heard, male or female, black or white, palatable or unpalatable, any message could be presented, uncensored, unfiltered, and with as much clarity and weight as any other.
that night yOni was conceived
at that time (and still as it happens!) what i felt overwhelmingly passionate about was my ongoing journey of discovery of the feminine.i had started to see that although i inhabited a woman's body, had passed quite successfully to myself and to the rest of the world as a female all my life and had no unusual issues or confusion around my sex or sexuality, many of the qualities of the feminine were a complete mystery to me.
as i started to rediscover these qualities in myself i also began to feel that the pollution and the abuse of the earth that seemed to be so out of hand that it threatened our very existence on this planet, was connected with a global misunderstanding and suppression of these same energies
i was inspired to create a site which explored and celebrated the qualities of the feminine
yOni gestated for six months
magic was definitely afoot and i always seemed to be in the right place at the right time.
i landed a miracle training contract that paid for a new computer and the rest of the gear i needed to get on-line and left me with enough money to live on while i beavered away learning to use my new tools
i met steve miller, webmaster extraordinaire, creator of the fabulous mkzdk and spent many hours soaking up fragments of his web wisdom
i seemed to need less sleep!
yOni went on-line on 23rd october 1995. not yet a mother at that time i felt as if i began to understand what it was to give birth
the magic continued
just when my own money ran out i received a goverment subsidy scheme to develop the zine as a new business .. and another to employ a friend to help me
the feedback on yOni was great and the quanitity of e-mail in my in-tray grew and grew. i had folders of great material waiting to go on-line. i was bursting with things i wanted to write, new ideas and cool new web tricks. there were simply not enough hours in the day.
my own experience of the mysteries of the feminine deepened in a myriad of ways . i fell deeply in love and became pregnant.
Avalon was born in a shower of golden light on 11th January 1997. not surprisingly yOni took second place to her younger brother for the first few months and in the same period my business subsidy came to an end. with a living and breathing family to feed the need to make my work financially viable became urgent. and at the same time my web baby was growing and demanding more attention and resources
reluctantly i realised that yOni would have to be supported financially by her readers. i would prefer not to have to do this as i feel the information she contains should be absolutely accessible to all .. but it i cannot afford to bear the costs she incurs alone and it is either this or no yOni.
some of the original zine will still remain available to all but most new material will be for members only. however to continue to attempt to allow access to all i have also introduced the concept of a philanthropic subscription. this allows a reader to support two others who have not got access to the funds for their own subscription. as the numbers of subscriptions rise to cover my costs then i will increase the number of free subscriptions for each philanthropic subscription.
i am excited. i hope i have found a way to continue to be able to pour energy into yOni and to allow her to develop and grow further as a resource for men and women and a voice for the feminine. the response so far has been good but it is early days yet.
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