Manic and Magical Motherhood
An Empowering Journey
Motherhood is both a manic and magical journey that deserves to be celebrated. The overwhelming, yet privileged, responsibility of being entrusted with a soul to nurture, combined with waking up every two hours for a year, changing smelly french mustard style nappies and entertaining a teething baby with Play School antics, while tripping out from sheer exhaustion and hormonal fluctuations, makes the introduction into motherhood extremely challenging to say the least. Oh! We mustn't forget the added joys of motherhood like; expressing milk from engorged breasts, then trying to remember what you need to pack to go on an outing when you have milk brain! Let alone hold an intelligent conversation when you get to wherever you are supposed to be going. It's a wonder that new mothers are even able to function at all, coping with all the above while still trying to recover from the trauma of giving birth! Plus, letting go of an identity and grieving the lifestyle you once had. Of course some new mothers feel alienated and lost, not to mention depressed! Wouldn't you?
Call me bitter or call me honest. One thing I do know, is that motherhood is definitely a role that commands acknowledgment!!
Motherhood is a 24 hour a day demanding vocation that needs to be recognised praised and valued, especially by the mothers. All the choices that women have now can feel like pressures to be everything. If we're not careful, they can lead to feelings of inadequacy. Mothers need to believe they are enough as they are. Quite a challenging task when you're up against modern conditioning, or when you may have judged 'dreary old housewives' in the past.
As 90's women, some mothers may feel a gap if they decide to devote their time and energy to raising their child. In recent decades, motherhood and homemaking have been presented as symbols of submissiveness in patriarchy's prison. It's an unfortunate backlash of feminism that some women may feel disempowered in their role as mother, nest fluffer and nurturer, because they've been conditioned to value themselves on their careers.
Motherhood, as nonstop as it is, may not be enough for some mothers because they don't have the belief to support it. The time has come for mothers to value themselves as nurturers again. As an embracer of an unexpected pregnancy, I found this task especially challenging. It's hard to value yourself on a role that you may have judged harshly in the past, plus grieve the woman you thought you were going to be. Rebirth involves letting go of your maiden identity and becoming more of yourself as you step into mother. Letting go of your maiden identity and lifestyle can be painful especially if you feel it's being yanked from you and you don't want to say goodbye to it. This is apparent in embracing unexpected pregnancy. However that is the dynamic nature of life isn't it? Everything is always changing, we can relay on that and trust in that.
As my friend's joke sums up;
"How do you make God laugh?"
"Tell her your plans!"
you have to deal with the hand you dealt with. Resisting it only brings misery. All the decisions we make have consequences. One of the consequences of deciding to embrace an unexpected pregnancy involves grieving the changes as you are reborn as mother. Then you are rewarded with a love and joy you've never known before.
Mothers are entrusted with a soul to nurture and guide on their earth walks, to become strong in themselves. We show them how to live, laugh and love. To really feel the magic of this, balance is essential. Balance is integral to happy healthy parenting and can be created in various, simple ways, according to one's unique needs.
Whether it's creating motherfriendly work options in the wider community, or simply committing to taking time out to do something unrelated to your child. Mothers need to be honest with themselves and honour their needs. This ensures mothers don't forget who they are as a unique individuals, and are then always able to see their children's uniqueness.
Our children need us to be present with them. We need to take time out to be present with ourselves to do this. Taking time out is easy. Here are some things I do. Please indulge and add your own to the list, then pass it on to a friend!
Self Empowered Mother's Rituals.
If you have a ritual to add to the list then email it to us here at yOni. If there is a big response we will create a discussion board out of it.
Get creative. Find a way to check in with yourself. This way you have so much more energy for your child and can truly enjoy them! You also become more receptive to your child's needs because you're listening to your own. Our children chose us to be their mothers for who we are. It's important we take steps to ensure we don't forget who that woman is, so we don't become vacant, soggy and less alive. We deserve to feel alive and luscious!! (Keep a picture of Muriel's mum, from the movie "Muriel's Wedding", in mind, to shock you into giving to yourself.)
How can you truly see and hear your child if you're not seeing and hearing yourself?
Let your child be one of your greatest teachers, as they remind you how to be present and free, completely in the moment, in tune with their needs.
It's not surprising that there is trend in modern mothers to feel guilt in their mothering. We're walking down a path that hasn't been built before. Strong role models to follow are rare. Let's remind ourselves that the time of self sacrificing, selfless mothers is over. Together, let's trust our heart voices and support each other in intuitive mothering and dance in our roles as loving, self-empowered nurturers that we are! May we also remind ourselves that what we are doing is profoundly meaningful and real. We're nurturing shining spirits! Let's keep a magical perspective.
I'd like to note that these are ideals to strive for to give us direction and focus, not designed to be pressures to be more. For we are human and walking your talk is the most challenging part sometimes.
Living your truth is powerful and real. Check in with yourself so you can know what yours is. As we honour our unique selves we are creating strong role models for our children to follow as they step in the footsteps of the shining spirits before them. So mote it be!
Look out for Kathy Jones's book, Manic and Magical Motherhood - A Young Mother's Story about embracing Unexpected Pregnancy
Interested Publishers please write to; PO Box 429, Dunsborough,WA 6281 Or email. firstname.lastname@example.org
yOni now blogging at cliterallyspeaking.blogspot.com
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