Bravo! Shannon Lucid just returned from outer space with the
longest endurance record in the history of space flight. Imagine
that. A woman. A record-breaking astronaut. With three kids yet. I
never dreamed of being an astronaut when I was a child. I only
dreamed of being beautiful.
When I was a little girl, my two sisters and I had enormous fun
playing with our Barbie dolls. Every night, every day, we had
continuing adventures with the most beautiful doll in the universe.
And we were encouraged to do so.
As we grew, we transferred our Barbie adventures into ourselves. We
had dreams of becoming the most beautiful Barbie look-alike in
creation. The only worthwhile endeavor for women seemed to be the
quest of beauty. And we were encouraged to believe so.
In our teens and 20s, we spent huge amounts of time and money
improving our looks, whether they needed improvement or not. An
unhealthy competition set in amongst the three of us that still
cripples us today. We still struggle with who is the prettiest,
youngest-looking, or the thinnest. Not too often do we compare IQ
scores or creative pursuits. The dark specter of Barbie and the
competition of humans trying to emulate a plastic doll still
lingers.
In our 30s we managed to achieve some semblance of beauty, but
emotionally we had gone our separate ways. The competition to be the
prettiest sister had mortally wounded the relationship that was once
based on love. Okay, maybe we weren't Barbie with her perfect,
youthful features. Maybe we were more like Venus de Milo. A bit more
stately; a bit more statuesque, if you will. But our strength had
been cut-off just like Venus' arms had been. Soon we had become cheap
imitations of an original work of art. No longer plastic, we were now
sullied in some kind of unforgiving, sticky glue and cast from a
die.
The years passed and we had more and more difficulty trying to
stretch the perfect image over spreading bodies and wrinkled brows.
The days of Barbie and Venus de Milo now were a faded memory as the
weighty, menopausal Venus of Willendorf appeared daily in our
mirrors. It was difficult to smile back at the unlovely sight -- a
sight that we had been conditioned to believe was ugly and unlovable.
Everybody said so -- especially the men.
The gentlemen who would not say so with their mouths, did so with
their eyes which were quickly averted to avoid the unsightly image of
a middle-aged Venus and her pendulosity. No one cared that Venus gave
up her youth to give life. Never mind that she used her breasts as
they were intended, not as playthings. Never mind.
But then a 53-year-old woman weighing 150 pounds and who had given
birth to three children went into space. There she stayed for a
whopping 188 days -- longer than anyone. Shannon Lucid is a heroine
-- a role model that we have so longed for. A woman who pointed to
the stars -- and then made a map to get there. For her; for us.
My grandchildren now are small. I will not encourage the girls to
play with Barbie dolls nor will I try to convince them that they need
to look like a piece of molded plastic to feel worthy of love. I hope
to instill in them a more conscious desire to awaken the beauty
within them. I hope to offer them dreams of being lucid -- like
Shannon. And I know that then, they will live happily ever after.
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yOni now blogging at cliterallyspeaking.blogspot.com
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