Beloved of My Heart

4th November 1994

Satsang ...

Beloved of my Heart
you left your body today
at 12:10am.

Your last breaths
becoming so light, so soft ...
and then a deep, deep sigh ...
and you are gone ...
Free, free into the Light!
Free from the pain.

I hold you gently
my weeping eyes fixed
upon your face
my fingers caressing you.

Goodbye ... My Beloved One ...

And I know I am simply saying farewell
to that body,
that dear body
I loved and caressed and took care of
in these months.

No more will I be able to touch you
to kiss you
to stroke your forehead
to massage your body.
No more will I be able to touch your feet,
your legs, giving some relief from the pain.
No more will I be able to feel
your warm, soft belly,
the roundness of you.
No more will I lay my head
over your heart
and listen to it beating ...
Now ...
I can feel you everywhere!
You are within me
as you were never able to be
in your body.
You are the breath I breathe,
the sight I see.
I feel the golden light of your love
pouring through me.

The morning sun has just risen
through the bamboo
and you are dancing in the light, the warmth,
the radiance of it.
You are in the morning mist
across the field
and the tall date palms
stand so silently ~ together
opening their branches to the sky.

Last night, when I returned
to our 'sweet home'
I scattered rose petals
on the marble path
leading to our door.

Your love, your energy
fill this small home
we shared
there is a silence,
a peace, I have never know before.

You are so near to me ~
within me.
We are not separate
any more.
In your dying
you have merged into my being.


'Beloved of my Heart' is a collection of poems that Paritosh wrote as her lover was dying and in the days that followed. They are an beautiful resource for those dealing with grief. The full set of poems are available on cassette tape. E-mail us if you would like to order a copy of the tape.

Other poems in the series:

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