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Offering to Kali

This story is of a past life recall that has answered many questions in my battle with endometreosis. I have fought this disease since I was very young, (around 14) and finally, with the remergence of a tribal past life I understand. Thank You.

 "It was the sound of tribal drumming that took me there: a place in my memory long since visited. My golden hair became the shade of midnight, my skin a deeper bronze, I danced with my family in a circle. During the dance, I was blessed with the vision of bearing gifts to my people through my womb. I was elated. The memories progressed like flashes on a screen before me. My swollen womb contracting in pain. The slurred voices of my elders around me chanting, "Kali, Kali". This is my name, my conscious mind assumed, I am Kali, I am giving birth. The body remembered its writhing in pain. It fell to the ground. It pushed forth, screaming. Sweating. An infant girl pulled from my womb was strung above my raised feet. Umbilical cord dangling, fresh with the dew of her placenta, her crying eyes struck a chord with my own. My daughter.

Fear rushed over the memory. "Turn it off" my conscious mind warned. Close the picture now. Curiosity recalled anyway. The tribe, my people, they danced, they sang, they placed my baby in their fire.

And not until this most recent lifetime of dreadful infertility at the spring of my womanhood, did I consider that Kali was not my name, but my deity. As I lay in stirrups, belly cut open, She holds me still. I worshipped Her, I loved Her, I gave my child for Her honor. And it killed the breath, the life-force within me that said "you are mother, you shall conceive and give birth to new life". My body holds these memories still, defending itself from the dark Kali by creating the disease of endometriosis. To face each coming menses with the dread of war. And so I have done.

Now Kali, I must honor you, for your powerful role in this and other lifetimes I have survived. Now, Kali I beseech thee: Hear my prayer. Release me from your bondage. Bless me with your maternity. Maim this silent invader of my body that I may once again give birth to the daughter I gave to you, and in this lifetime, may she remain my own."


An update: I am twenty three and this past November had to have a complete hysterectomy due to the severity of the disease. (I was bedridden, to say the least). Anyway, what I learned is that in setting out to heal myself I had never considered that the healing may mean the release of the diseased organs-- what a revelation when that one hit me!


I am happy to receive email in regards to my experience and the therapeutic connection I now seek with the goddess Kali.



Kristina is a freelance writer for Eye on the Web.

See also "What Is Endometriosis?" by Karen

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